Still

There is still a hair

In the sink where you washed

This morning

There is still a fingernail

On the floor from when you cut them

Yesterday

There is still the smell of spices

In the kitchen where you cooked

On Friday

There is still a breath

On my mirror where you sighed

A wet stain on my pillow where you cried

And a warm space on my carpet

Where your last footstep fell and died.

That Which Doesn't Kill Me

That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger

That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger

That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger

The longer I repeat it the more I believe it, as I feel it

sinking into me, like drinking whiskey and coke

and smoking all night till I choke on the joke that you made in the bed that was me and I'm not gonna fade as soon as you say 'Sorry'.

Now I'm not just gonna let this lie and hide in my mind what I'm feeling inside.

I know why you lied, but it's beyond my comprehension how it could be your intention

to accuse and abuse and use women, left like tissues on your bedroom floor.

Did I mention you can cry me a fucking river for the one who delivered you into temptation.

What a revelation that people are cruel, only fuel for the fire. You conspire to inspire a trust and a lust which must only disgust and offend you coz it sends you right back to where you thought you would be when she said those three little words.

How absurd that you've clearly not learned to let go of the hate, so great that the weight will crush you and push you down so deep you cannot sleep for fear that you'll never climb back.

You sent a shock to my system, started the rhythm of the heart in my chest, just a test for me to pass at long last.

I will learn from this

I will grow

Like a flower, I will tower, unaffected by weeds and the seeds of haters who just gonna hate.

Too late now to hide away in your corner. Should I warn her that though he may like it, he's never gonna put a ring on it?

All the things he said took him from one bed to another.

Go to your mother if you want a bosom for a pillow

I'm not your willow, a shelter from the world, just a fucked up girl looking for my own peace of mind, being kind, not resigned to desire to burn others with my fire (although, she is smart to stay away from me, guess she's not all that dumb)

Now I'm numb from the neck up, need a check up. You really fucked up my system, now listen:

You might trick me once, I won't let you trick me twice

I'll follow my own advice and be nice until positivity comes through my creativity.

And I can finally see that all I need is me.

What a Woman Wants

Do not send me roses

Or other such dead posies

I will not cut their stems in half

I will not put them in a vase

Do not buy me stylish shoes

Or dresses in baby pinks and blues

I will not wear them on the street

Or show them off upon my feet

Do not give me wedding bands

Or things to wear upon my hands

I will not walk down any aisle

Or stand out front as though on trial

Do not take me to far off places

Or dazzle me with bright-lit spaces

I will not gasp in awe and delight

I will not photograph the sights

Only take me as you find

Love that I know my own mind

Run with me and be my own

Whisper things when we're alone

About the way the world will be

When I have you, and you have me.

A Clock in Place of a Heart

They took out my heart and put in a clock

If you stand close you can hear it

Tick...

Tock...

Tick...

Tock...

Locking away away the time I've been spending

Mending my broken ribs

Telling spoken fibs

About little things the make no difference

But for the inference that there's some

New Truth to be found

Deep undeground, where we now grow

Our children's children

But that's in the past

Where all things last

In the memory, through time

Until the colours fade and the words no longer...

How to

Ask me

Burn me

Challenge me

Doubt me

Expect something from me

Free me

Grow on me

Hold me

Include me

Jam with me

Keep me

Love me

Misunderstand me

Name me

Owe me

Push me

Quench me

Reach for me

Show me

Teach me

Use me

Value me

Withstand me

X me

Yearn for me

Zoom in on me

Did you?

What did you do with the rest of your yesterday?

Did it turn out just the way

You wanted it when you flaunted it

without a word

You just turned and burned all bridges

From the arch to the banks

Did they stand at your flanks and

drive you once more into the breach?

Did you reach a conclusion off your own steam

in a dream that seemed so real at the time?

Did you find the way you move has changed,

your steps and nods are now so strange

that friends don't know you on the street?

Do you point your feet at a new angle

while you try to untangle the strangling grip

of the strip around your gut that pulled and cut

you almost in two?

Did you stay true to who you deeply used to be

when you were free to see the holes in the road?

Did you fold under the pressure to reassure those around you that

you were really okay?

Did you stay away so they wouldn't know how slowly

you dragged you feet to your seat under the strip lights

and how much you struggled to fight the lethargy

with feigned energy and a smile

all the while dying a little inside with every handset clicked down?

Did you?

Or did you quickly do the math and change your path,

throwing down one future of the living dead for something

new instead?

Did you change your head and heart through and through?

Now I barely recognise you :)

A letter

Another rainy Monday ends

With a letter in my pocket to send

To my mother, ink running down the page

In lines, across her face, showing age.

Laughter lines on her eyes

Show no surprise at anything I say anymore.

She knows me better than I know the lyrics to my favourite song

And I can do no wrong in the

Apple of her eye

Though I've tried

To shock

To mock

To take all I can and give nothing back.

A letter, a hand reaching out, to touch a heart

So far apart.